Things between you and your spouse have not been going well. Every slight, every lecture and every deliberate snub stings. This is not what you expected to happen in your marriage.
Is divorce inevitable? Well, some psychologists consider four key behavioral signs that together or on their own may mean that your marriage is heading toward divorce.
Criticism and stonewalling
What comprises this quartet of behaviors? They include:
- Criticism: Gradually, you find yourself the subject of harsh judgments about a number of things such as appearance, behavior, thoughts and opinions, and feelings. You are made to feel 2-feet tall. Acceptance is crucial in marriage. If not there, you may have little desire to share information and that marital connection gradually unravels.
- Contempt: Feelings of worthlessness may surface after a continuous bout of contempt from your spouse, whether through words or facial expressions. The scorn leads to the deep growth of roots that can poison a relationship.
- Defensiveness: A spouse may indignantly defend himself or herself, making endless excuses for certain actions that need remedying rather than taking responsibility.
- Stonewalling: Your spouse decides your company is no longer desirable, so he or she shuts down and turns his or her back on you, withdrawing from any conversation that you have started. It is not a good feeling to be discounted. Your spouse no longer wants to listen to you and does not care for your feelings.
Is your marriage worth saving? That is up to you. However, do not ignore such behavior. You must stand up for yourself if subjected to any of them.
Contact an attorney
These behaviors represent tell-tale signs that a divorce looms. If you think your marriage is worth saving, seek couples therapy. If not, then it is time to contact a skilled and empathetic attorney.