At Higgins Law, we represent Nebraskans in divorce and related matters. Each divorce is unique — in terms of the individuals who are ending their marriage, the reasons for the separation, whether there are children and matters of financial concern and asset division.

But one thing is constant — our concern for each client’s well-being. We have written in this space before about ways to manage stress throughout the divorce process, but what about after it is over?

A recent feature article in the Omaha World-Herald from Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Nebraska provides suggestions from various therapists for people after losing a spouse through divorce or death, including cultivating other close relationships with relatives and friends for support.

Divorce can mean grieving

Depending on the reasons for the end of the marital relationship, losing someone through divorce may bring a period of grief. If needed, joining a grief group may help. One contributing therapist says to work on acceptance instead of fighting against the new normal. Recognize that the first year may be challenging with holidays and events coming up that you used to experience with your ex.  

Think about what you would like life to look like in your golden years and putting the pieces together to make it happen. Be proactive and “reinvent [yourself].”

Stress is real, but you can lessen it

Mental health professionals say that divorce is among the highest stress experiences, according to an article from Publishous on medium.com. Still, the author believes, life can be even better when it is over. Work on developing optimism, trying to relax and creating solutions to problems that come up.

In particular:

  • Try techniques to lessen stress like meditation or revisit your spiritual practice or look into developing one. 
  • Ask for help from others and hire services you might need, if possible.
  • Get organized.
  • Engage in fun activities, even if it does not feel enjoyable at first. Take a class or join a group, club or team. Accept invitations.
  • While it may be easier said than done, try to visualize things getting better. Divorce can be difficult, so expect that life should improve going forward.
  • Take care of yourself. Look your best and stick to a regular exercise and sleep schedule.
  • Get a good handle on your new financial situation. Get professional advice. Create a budget, especially if your ex was the one who managed the money. Build your credit.
  • If you have children, maintain communication about the divorce and life changes. Create a new routine for them.

Your divorce attorney will do the heavy lifting through the legal proceedings, so you can begin to plan the next phase of your life and use your energy to recharge and begin to move forward.